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Looking back at 2020

Never before has a year been such a mixed bag of everything. Usually a year sums up pretty neatly as a good year or a bad year or an average year. This year has only one adjective to justify it “Crazy”, no year in the history of humanity shook each and every human being at the same time with the same intensity as this one. In terms of the evolving universal consciousness and the feeling that we are the same, this hits a score of 100. Not all of humanity is there yet, there are a few who refuse to believe that the pandemic exists, but such people will always be there through each generation. 

To me personally, it was a true roller coaster, the setbacks and fresh starts were equal, equally exciting and intense. The year started a bit mellow much like a roller coaster on the first climb up, slow and steady, where you are comfortable and a bit excited. Reaching March all hell let loose, like when the roller coaster takes that first plunge and you think, what was I thinking getting into this?The plunge that followed was deep and scary, into the unknown. Not just the lockdown but the physical issues I was personally dealing with, that were new and unknown.Never have I felt so out of control, so helpless internally and externally.

In the middle it was a bit fun, like when the roller coaster turns a smooth corner on the lower level and you have enough courage to open your eyes and smile wide. Proud of having made it so far and enjoying the adrenaline rush. It was the same mid-year, I had launched a few creative projects and changes in lifestyle that had started feeling good.My physical health improved and light was getting brighter.As is with roller coasters, this short lived middle phase fizzled out with the next climb and another deep plunge, leaving one to think “how am I still here?”.

Through this year, challenges have been personal and global for all of us. Sometimes the personal stuff was too hard to deal with and sometimes the global crises brought tears to my eyes, looking at the struggles of people outside. Then there were moments of personal discovery, launching new projects, ideas flowing so fast I had to rush to find a pen and paper to write as fast as I could lest they are gone. 

I welcomed new feathered members into my family( three cockatiels and two african love birds), one of them is like my own winged angel,my little cockatiel “Coco”, literally sitting on my shoulder all day and distracting me when I need to be distracted the most. The way he looks at me melts my heart each time and the way he claims me, snuggles with me and pecks at my lips, he is spoiling me so much, I sometimes feel its high standard for any man to reach ha ha ha. I discovered the love and language of birds which I had never ever imagined I would, and what I found was beyond expectation. I am still learning but it has been a true blessing.

I made new friends this year too, although remotely, but some genuine and warm people entered my life. They are already appreciating me so much, and am so grateful for these souls who are standing as my advocates, whether at work or on a personal front. A few friends who provided that support system to keep me going. We all need a support system and I pray all of you get a similar group of people in your life. This year also has been a conscious effort to connect with existing friends more than any other year thanks to the technology of a video call.

There were times this year, I questioned the purpose of it all. I saw near ones lose relatives, friends, colleagues and neighbours to either the virus or other natural causes. I saw political upheaval and the battle for human rights, I saw nature’s fury in the form of fires or cyclones.Personally, physical pain, standing up for myself to people who were dismissive, refocusing on projects when I felt like giving up, the day my female cockatiel Mango flew away due to a freak accident, not to be found again, as I watched this tiny frightened bird shoot out of the door into the sky, my heart knew she would not survive. Random happenings and unexplained loss has been a theme for everyone around, loss of people, pets, friends, jobs, the list goes on. Yet just enough positives and good days to keep us moving ahead. My resilience astonishes me each time I feel I cannot go on, and then I look around and see the same. Resilience would be the one positive word that could describe this year, close enough to encompass the one trait that has stood out in humanity. 

Last year around the same time, I started my blog. It was a leap of faith and when I look back now, it was the first domino in self expression. It led me to believe in myself, the response I received from all who read and follow my blog has been amazing. I launched my first podcast series in March, I executed within 3 days of getting the idea, I surprised myself. Sometimes we forget that if we set our minds to something nothing is impossible. I am closing 2020 with a second podcast series and three new creative projects already started for 2021, which I cannot wait to work and share with you all. This is not me bragging in a sense, this is an observation of how mixed this year has been so far.

A lot of great stories and books entered my life in 2020, I have not finished reading any of them yet, but have started reading them. I am grateful to my mother for inculcating this habit in me. I remember the excitement as a child when my parents would take me to the local book fair. Looking at thousands of books stacked up on numerous stalls, it was like Disneyland for me. I would proudly walk out with a dozen or so books, though my reading nowadays is not that much still I try to keep up. The significance of words, books, thoughts and ideologies passed on from the pages to your soul are something only a true book junkie can understand. I am excited about sharing book reviews with you as we move into 2021.

As with last year, this new year too, I have no demands and expectations from 2021. I do not dread a calamity neither do I expect the world to turn into a fairy tale, I am happy just being.

The journey is what matters and as years pass by, it is getting even more evident, life is not a destination. There is no need to rush, the need is to take a deep breath and be in the now, the exact moment of taking in the breath of air and letting it out. Living each emotion with sincerity, and doing the best we can at every moment, just experiencing life. It may be experiencing the boredom of being at home due to a lockdown or the thrill of traveling to a new place, the sadness of losing a loved one, or the excitement of inviting someone new into our life, it maybe sharing your lunch with someone hungry and poor or cooking an elaborate meal for yourself, the art of being is life. Welcome 2021 with wide arms, and promise yourself that you will strive to “Just Be”. Wishin you all a very happy and prosperous 2021, may the universe shower blessings, and may you be in the vibration of receiving the blessings.


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