Micro-surgeries of the inner self

As I ushered in the new year, it was a peaceful, happy, and comfortable New Year’s Eve. The inner turmoil I faced a week or so ago suddenly felt distant. I had encountered a trigger moment back then that seemed to unhinge me, it was a minor communication gap but it set off a chain of inner thought patterns and emotional reaction loops learnt over the years. I found myself battling extreme rage, rage I had not felt in years, just pure anger and no way of expressing it or letting it out. My mind knew it was misplaced or rather the incident did not call for such a magnitude of rage, yet I could not control it. For three straight days, I was enraged, I cried a lot because I could not express the rage in any way, I was agitated and swinging between normal to enraged within seconds. I tried to meditate, I tried to pray, I tried everything to distract myself, but the rage would not go. It was as if something needed out, something that had been ignored long enough and suppressed deep within the caves of the subconscious. Something