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Recognition at first sight

What is forever? What does it really mean when someone says they love you forever? Or in wedding vows people promise to be there forever? It is such a misunderstood term, isn’t it? I have been pondering over this and had a series of questions arise, Is forever a measure of time? Can anyone measure forever? Is it relative? similar to time in that can it mean different things for each of us? For insects, it could mean a few days, for animals a few years, and for humans a few decades? Does forever stop at death or go beyond death? Why does the human heart crave for a forever love, for a soulmate, for that other piece of the puzzle that fits perfectly? It does not mean perfect compatibility in the current personality, but a perfect fit somehow within.

The thought of forever then led me to the topic of soul mates and soul contracts. Have you ever felt like you did something out of the way for someone and then it seemed like you had fulfilled a promise made eons ago? Or do you feel like you are waiting for someone to fulfill their end of the promise made eons ago? A vague feeling not even knowing from whom you expect it fulfilled? Sometimes you might have noticed that you connect with someone the minute you meet them, it is not always love, it is friendship or even feelings of being siblings, but it is instant. People usually call it Love at first sight but I call it “Recognition at first sight”. I have met many of my close friends this way, I just felt the connection beyond the present personalities, names, and backgrounds, a kind of knowing and at times even without meeting in person, just by first phone call. The recognition over time led to close friendships but the pull was instant, it was something you cannot ignore. And they have recounted it too, maybe not in the same words but something was there which indicated we had not met for the first time. This recognition is beyond attraction, beyond hormonal rush, beyond just pleasing personalities, because even after relationships at times crashed and burned the recognition was still strong.

I remember how I met one of my close friends, we both were doing our internship in a prestigious institute and stayed at the same hostel. We would often look at each other and smile during the breakfast line or during dinner, after a few days I sat next to her at the table and we just started talking, it felt so comfortable, so normal so to speak though I had technically just met her. We would later spend hours having conversations on all possible topics and stayed connected for many years following that. We are still friends but time, distance and priorities have overtaken. The recognition is not always mutual, and especially in a romantic sense it is powerful and causes confusion. The term Love at first sight has got a bad reputation and it usually means rushing into decisions that one regrets, but if you look at it for what it is, a recognition at first sight your actions following it may or may not matter. We have multiple soul mates and countless soul contracts, promises, and unfinished business, these relationships can take any form in the present life, friendship, siblings, parenthood, colleagues, neighbors, romantic love, and even animosity. Ever instantly disliked a person for no reason, even though you just met and there is no apparent reason? Our gut feelings are our notification system or alarm bells and our intuition is our radar. When you learn to develop this inner radar and alarm system, you become more sensitive to them and they will serve you well. God did not send us on earth empty-handed, he installed systems of survival and mainly a system of soul recognition so we can find our soul tribe and fulfill our purpose. Alas, many wonderful could haves are lost in the ifs and buts of the logical brain. If your radar picks up a soul recognition, look at your gut feeling and depending on it explore the possibilities, talk to the person, get to know them more.

Soul connections have been placed strategically on the timeline of your life, to help you chart the course of this life, nothing and especially no one is random Thorvi M Damle

People hesitate to even explore or try and open and have honest conversations for the fear of rejection. It is not the teenagers, trust me, it is the age group that is supposed to be emotionally mature. Such a shame indeed, the fear is so gripping that some people cannot even initiate a conversation. I have experienced this where the soul recognition was undeniable and the other person felt it too but decided to shut down. Maybe a short story will explain this better, these are fictional characters and it is not my story 😉. Bhoomi was a 30-year-old successful, attractive young woman working for a multinational firm. She was single but had had her fair share of loves and breakups, but she had learned to handle emotions with maturity to not run away and hide but deal with them head-on. She was at her office party hanging around with her usual crowd when a colleague walks over and introduced Angath to the group. Angath had recently moved into the firm, he was at a higher post and worked for another team but in the same office. They shook hands and their eyes met, there it was, the feeling of soul recognition, it swept over them both, a strong intense feeling that they knew each other. Bhoomi was aware of her inner radar and alarm and sensed that this was indeed a soul recognition, she was happy and wanted to get to know him better. Angath on the other hand was overwhelmed, he had never felt anything so strong. Though he was successful, mature, and confident externally he had not learned to honor his inner radar, and though he knew this was not just physical attraction his logical brain said that must be it, what else can it be? He could not look into her eyes anymore, he immediately started conversations with another colleague. Later that day he could not get her out of his mind, it perplexed him, he was physically 6 foot tall and with a muscular built and here he was being unhinged by a single meeting, this was absurd he thought. He knew this was not love at first sight, nor was it lust then what was it? As the days progressed, he would sometimes bump into her at work, they would have short conversations and he felt comfortable and would feel good after he met her, but he never initiated any conversation, he never attempted to explore this, to try and get to know her better. He knew he liked her and he would look at her across the floor at the office, he would stalk her on social media but never send a friend request, he was acting immature but he was unwilling to do anything about it. As if it would disappear if he ignored it longer. Bhoomi on the other hand could not understand why he was being so vague, he clearly liked her, why was holding back? Why could he not have a proper conversation with her? She got his number and messaged him and added him on social media. She was always the one to initiate the chat and she would get breadcrumbs in return i.e., few responses. She asked him out on a date, he hesitated but finally gave in, they met out for lunch and spent over 4 hours talking. He was opening up and they had such a nice time, at the end of it Bhoomi was happy and she saw hope for this relationship. She wanted to continue meeting and talking and try and understand what this was. Angath on the other hand had different plans, his logical brain took over, he decided this was too good to be true. Here was a successful and beautiful woman, how could she like him so much? Why did she ask him out? How was he so comfortable with her? She was too good to be true, so the conclusion was something was wrong with this connection. His only comparison was a broken toxic relationship with his ex and this was nothing like that. He started avoiding her, giving mixed signals and vague responses, and eventually ghosted her. Bhoomi could not understand what happened, what went wrong? She was hurt and even angry at the immaturity shown but she rose above it. Not everyone has the courage to live life, most of them just pretend, they are outwardly perfect but internally a wreck. Does this story make sense? Have you known a runner or worse, have you been a runner?

Unless you give a possibility a chance you will never know how it would have been. Moving away from someone because they are incompatible is the sensible thing to do, but only after having conversations like adults, not ghosting someone. Not by acting vague and ignoring them to the point that they give up, you owe a soul connection that much courtesy. If you have been a runner, stop and look within, running away says more about your inner strength of character than the situation itself. There is so much inner work you need to do, to train yourself to accept the inner radar and give another person a chance, by getting to know them, having meaningful conversations with them, and being prepared to accept whatever outcome the relationship brings. Why should you do this? Because your inner radar is not going anywhere, the more you suppress it the louder it will ring, if you manage to ignore it, you are slowing down your own progress. These are soul contracts made eons ago and if you do not keep them now, you will have to keep them in some lifetime. You may ask where is free will then? Free will then is deciding to grow or hide behind the logic. Free will is still your choice, to be brave or to run. Who will the decision affect the most? Your soul’s journey. Our souls take birth to evolve and true evolution is not physical; it is the soul evolution only possible in a human form and soul contracts help us accelerate our growth. If you ignore them, it is like taking a longer route on purpose.

Even those who harm us are in soul contracts, the karmic backlog has to be cleared and opposing forces test our growth. Do not let your logical brain stop you from exploring your soul connections. Disclaimer- by this I do not mean jump into a stranger’s car. I only mean don’t let fear stop you, don’t shut the door to what could be an amazingly fulfilling relationship that could enrich your life. Keep an open mind that this may or may not work, if you stop loving because you broke your heart once, you don’t know what love means.

Love is breaking your heart a hundred times just to love again. Thorvi M Damle

It is the experience that our souls crave not any finality because we will die, take off this existing personality, and be born again. So, there is no finality there is only forever. In this life, you may be best friends and the next to be born as siblings or parent & child and so on. In this life, a soul recognition may end in a break-up but in another life, it might be picture perfect. Fulfill your soul’s yearning to know your soul tribe, your soul mates, honor your soul contracts, forgive and make peace as well in this life itself. Some relationships will remain for a few years, some will stay longer, some will hurt you to teach you lessons in forgiveness and maybe one will be the key to the lock, a perfect fit, here to stay forever, not in the usual sense but forever in a soul’s definition.

I hope some of you reading this have found the key to your lock. Congratulations, remember to enjoy the experience of being alive and try not to sabotage what you have.

Hats off to those who are still on the lookout with an open mind with the courage to explore and be attuned to the inner radar. Keep moving ahead with faith, even when you have nothing to prove it. The experiences are what count.

A stern message to the runners, stop running, stop hiding, stop stalking people on social media, if you have ever felt a soul recognition act on it, have a conversation like a mature adult, and remove the fear of rejection because you can choose to continue on your hamster wheel and other souls will evolve and move on.

They say when souls decide to take birth, they are super excited and ready to take on the bad & ugly along with the good and beautiful, they just want to feel alive, to fall in love, lose in love, and hopefully conquer in love. Bring back that thirst for life, be open to new people and experiences, do not put a clause that each relationship should be amazing, yet do not stop expecting the magic. Leaving you with words from Sigmund Freud, the subconscious is a part where our soul and personality overlaps.

“We choose not randomly each other, We meet only those who already exist in our sub-conscious” Sigmund Freud


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